What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's never too late to be topless.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
