he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
