he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
