I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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