i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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