I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
