how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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