you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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