Your dad touched me again.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
