I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
