if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Your dad touched me again.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
