belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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