i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
