Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
