Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
