He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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