No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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