your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
