your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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