Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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