we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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