Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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