Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
