Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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