I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
