Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
