I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
