He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Those nachos came to me in a dream
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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