sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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