this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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