Is it normal to miss your booty call?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
