Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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