why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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