ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
