I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
