she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
