I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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