you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
