With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
