I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
