Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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