This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
