She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
