The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
