I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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