Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
