My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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