Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
