yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
