I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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