I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
