Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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